Reflections on scars...
Yesterday the whole of Holland celebrated 'Queens Day'; a Dutch tradition since 1885. For those of you who haven't got the faintest idea what that's about, imagine a 1-day holiday based on the birth date of our former Queen Juliana (April 30th) where everybody joins in on a nation wide car boot sale and other festivities in honor of the Queen's birthday. It is really something else!
It actually starts the evening before, which we call "Queen's Night", with people setting up stalls and make shift stores on blankets and from 6pm, all throughout the night and the next day start selling the most unusual junk, scraped together from their attics. Oh, and most folks go around dressed in something orange: the color of our royal family. Whole towns and cities become open air dance, drink, song festivals and free markets. Everybody's selling or buying or simply enjoying being out and about with friends amongst the happy crowds.
Really, there's nothing like it in the world!
Then yesterday one man in a car made an attack on the royal family who were enjoying festivities in Apeldoorn. To get to the open top double deck bus that carried the Queen and the other royals he drove through the crowds killing five people and wounding 26 others, some of whom are still in intensive care.
He never made it to the bus but crashed head on into a concrete pilar and died this morning as a result of his injuries.
It left the country in shock.
Since my brother's birthday is on this day also I spent it with my family and sort of observed what happens in people, from their first response to when the reality of such a tragedy has settled in.
We all shared the horror of it and our hearts went (and continue to go) out to the people who died, got injured and traumatized by the incident. This was followed by disbelief, anger and even tears. No one could comprehend what would drive someone to such an act.
And then I noticed something very interesting.
With almost all adults the horror and feeling unsafe and shocked by the happening lingered on. It stained their experience of the day. With some only lightly and with others more severe. One of my family member's already present feelings of unsafety were extra stimulated by it and those feelings expressed themselves in seemingly unrelated areas throughout the day more strongly.
The kids, however, expressed that he (the attacker) was crazy, they didn't comprehend the why, dropped it and went out and played. I decided to join them.
Some times things happen in our lives and we can't make sense of them, no matter how hard we try. Emotions are left unprocessed and we stick them away for a while, hoping to catch up with them at some point or getting better insights into the 'hows' and 'whys' as our perspective changes over time. Some events leave scar tissue and we become conditioned human beings.
Mind you; there's nothing wrong with scars. Everybody has them. It's just a matter of how we deal with them. Have they conditioned us in a way that serves our expression in some way (wounded healer), or are they limiting us and influencing our experience of reality in a negative way.
Yesterday's shocking events have elicited an appropriate initial response in people: compassion, care and love flowing to the victims, the wounded, the dead and their families. Anger directed at the person responsible for the suffering of so many. Shock at the senselessness of it and more protectiveness for fear of violent acts.
And also: 16 million people share an increased sense of community and values through a shared traumatic incident. Terrorism and violence installs fear in people but, like Gandhi said,
LOVE ALWAYS WINS
People unite behind commonly shared values even stronger. In essence all everyone wants is to love and be loved in return.
We individually and as a community, a country determine the way we want to live and we have a choice to either live based on compassion, love and joy, or on fear. We can choose to celebrate our Dutch-ness like we have for over a century or stop being who we are and grow more protective; giving in to fear.
April 30th 2009 has left a wound and I hope we as a nation can treat it properly so the scar serves to create a stronger community. One that upholds its identity and positive values with flexibility and room for improvement so that more unity, compassion and love can flow through it.
Actually, I hold that intent for the world...
